Older Brothers
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: Being with Mirajane means that Laxus has to get along with her siblings. And getting along with her siblings is impossible. Being with Mirajane is impossible. But that's never stopped Laxus before. - One-shot.


Older Brothers

In a way, it was kinda mandatory. The demon loved her siblings and, well, Laxus knew that if he was going to stay in good with her, then he had to pretend to too. And he did pretend. It wasn't easy. Elfman was nearly impossible to deal with in nearly every way. Most of the time they spent together Laxus thought about different ways to get rid of the big oaf.

"Isn't it great, Laxus?" he'd ask as they went out drinking together. "Two men, out on the town together."

"Yeah," the guy would grumble as he mostly stayed hunched over, as if not to be seen with the man. It was hard, after all, given the size of the other guy, but what could he do? "So great."

"What," Bickslow would complain, who always went with them (the boss's orders), "do you mean two men? Me and Freed are right here."

"I agree with him," Freed said. "There are two men here and they are enjoying their night together."

Laxus stooped over even further. "Don't make me kill you. All of you."

Another thing that he noticed was, while he was definitely using Elfman to get closer to Mirajane, he was doing the same thing to him with Ever. It was rather obvious. Every time he was around the guildhall, usually sitting with the Thunder God Tribe, Elfman would find his way over to discuss the next time the two of them would be hanging out together.

"You know," the muscular man would insist, "since we're such good friends, Laxus. Practically brothers."

And Laxus had to grit his teeth too, because denying that would be like denying the demon. "Yeah. Practically."

"Hear that, Ever?" Elfman would say then. "Laxus and I are brothers."

"And I would care about that because?" she'd ask, looking off with a frown.

"Oy," Bickslow remarked, "I think it's 'cause you love Laxus and he's implyin' that if him and boss are so close, then you should-"

'I'm sorry, Bickslow, was someone talking to you?"

"I am treated with such disrespect around here," the seith grumbled. "Ain't right."

Once, Elfman was even more upfront about his intentions and spoke to Laxus about it once when the man was over at his house, waiting for the demon to finish getting ready for a date.

"You should tell Evergreen about how great I am."

"Excuse me?" At that moment, Laxus had been busy looking over a Sorcerer Weekly that Mirajane had left out on the coffee table. She had a spread in there and, well, Laxus would be taking that magazine home with him that night, definitely. "Elfboy?"

It was Elfman's turn to grit his teeth. Mirajane insisted that when Laxus called him that it was in an endearing way, but sometimes the beastly man was suspect.

"You know," he said as he stood before the couch, staring down the lightning mage. "Tell her that I'm not so bad."

"And why," Laxus began as he turned the page, disappointed to find that it was more articles (bleh), "would I do that? Hmmm?"

"Because we're practically brothers."

"Practically."

"And-"

"As a brother, I must say," he sighed as, finished with the magazine, he closed it before glancing up at the man, "that you are not a catch. And should lower your standards. As not to get hurt."

"How dare you?"

"Very easily."

"Laxus-"

"If a woman is embarrassed of you, _bro_ , then you shouldn't waste your time on her." He got to his feet then as he could hear the demon's footsteps in the hall, heading to the room. "Drop her, huh? I mean, look at you. You're all…you. Muscular and…stupid, but muscular."

"Hey-"

"And if women don't work out, trust me," he said with a wink. "There are plenty of _men_ waiting to climb Mount Elfman."

The look on the other man's face was worth it to Laxus. And, as Mirajane showed up about then, he got out of there without getting into an argument with the lout. Oh the fun he could have with Elfman Strauss.

Well, it had been fun. Until two days later Evergreen showed up at his apartment looking less than thrilled.

"It's the middle of the night," he complained as he opened his door. "And the demon's sleeping. She's got work in the morning. So what do you-"

"Why did I just show up at Elfman's house only for him to turn me away?"

"I don't know, Ever. Why would you go there in the first place?"

She just glared at him in a way he was unaccustomed to. Evergreen didn't get mad at him. Not at all. What had he done?

"That's not important," she hissed as he slowly backed away, allowing her entrance. "Elfman told me that you told him that I was no good and that he shouldn't waste his time on me."

"I said this?"

"That's what he said."

Huh.

"I said something about how stupid it was for him to want to be with someone who's embarrassed by him, but-"

"Why would you say that?"

"Keep your voice down," he complained as the woman took to crossing her arms. "And stop talking to me like this. I-"

"I am not embarrassed by Elfman," she told him harshly. "And who are you to tell him that?"

"Who am I? I'm fucking Laxus Dreyar, Evergreen. Don't forget that."

He thought that that would snap her back to attention. That she'd realize that he was not only her idol, but also the strongest mage in the world (as far as he and the Thunder Legion were concerned). Instead, Ever leveled her gaze, reaching up to toy with her glasses, as if to threaten him. Him! It was crazy.

"You're going to tell Elfman that you were wrong."

"I am not. Because it's true. You treat him like a dog and-"

"What's going on, guys?" There was a yawn then along with the sound of Laxus' bedroom door opening. "Is everything okay?"

"Go back to bed, demon," he complained, not even glancing over at her. Ever didn't spare the woman a look either. "We're busy."

"With what?"

"Mira-"

"Is something wrong?" She came to stand by his side then, dressed in one of his shirts and his coat. She thought that it got him hot to see her like that.

She thought right.

"No," he grumbled as the woman glanced between him and his usual fanatic. "There's nothing."

"I heard Elf's name. Did he do something, Ever?"

"Nope." She still wouldn't look at the woman. "This is between me and Laxus, Mirajane."

"Well-"

"I'll take care of it, alright, Ever?" Laxus caved finally. She and the other two Thunder God Tribe members were, really, his only friends. Other than the demon, of course, but she hardly counted. No, he couldn't make problems between him and the Thunder Legion. And really, he just didn't want to. "Alright? Is that good enough for you?"

She only narrowed her eyes before turning to walk off, not saying much else.

"What was that about?" Mira asked once they were alone in the apartment again. "Dragon?"

With a long sigh, he turned to look down at her with a strong gaze before kissing her head.

"I ever tell you how hot you look in my coat?"

Yes. Even he knew that. But at least it got her distracted as she blushed a little before letting him lead her back to the bedroom.

Silly demon.

And sigh. More Elfman time.

The next morning, Mirajane cooked Laxus breakfast before dashing off to the guildhall and, with some free time, he headed over to the Strauss house once more.

"Elfman," he called out when he got there, having used the key Mira gave him to get in. "You home? We gotta talk."

Which he didn't want to do. At all. He just wanted Evergreen to stop being mad at him. And, apparently, that meant getting her back with the guy that she feverishly denied even being friendly with at every turn.

Sigh. Women made his life so complicated.

"What do you want?" Elfman grumbled when Laxus found him in the kitchen, cooking himself and Lisanna some breakfast. The youngest Strauss was sitting at the table, staring heavily over at the coffee pot as it slowly brewed. After tapping her on the head, Laxus went to take his own seat.

"We gotta talk," he said simply. "Scram, Lisanna."

"You scram." She sent him a look. "I'm waiting on my coffee."

"Kid, I've seen you make your coffee before. It's literally just sugar and milk with, like, next to no coffee."

"Fine. I'm waiting on the coffee I need to make my milk. Happy?"

"Not particularly, no. but-"

"What," Elfman grumbled again, glancing over from the pancakes he was making, "do you want, Laxus?"

"To have a real brotherly conversation, yeah? A man to man talk."

"This is weird, Elf," Lisanna warned. "Don't fall for-"

"I knew you'd come around eventually!" Turning fully from the stove then, he nodded at the man. "What sort of manly things do you want to discuss with me? Workout schedules? Women? Other men?"

"Uh, the second one," Laxus said slowly as Lisanna just sighed. "Evergreen, to be precise."

"You would be mighty proud of me." Elfman flexed then, showing off his impressive build. "She came over here last night, crawling to me, but when I asked if we could go out on a date tonight, she said no. Because she was embarrassed, I bet, just like you said. So I sent her packing!"

"That's great," the other guy said slowly, "but when I was talking to you about that the other day, I was distracted by my desire to steal that magazine from Mirajane, so maybe I wasn't really thinking. Yeah, actually, I totally wasn't."

Lisanna blinked. "What goes on here when I'm asleep?"

"A lot," Laxus told her as Elfman just dropped his arm.

"What do you mean?" he asked the lightning mage. "That Ever isn't embarrassed by me?"

"Err…well… Yeah. Of course that's what I meant." Kinda. More like she was, but he wasn't supposed to realize it or care. "It's just more fun for some people, you know? Being all, uh, secretive. Or what have you."

"Really now."

"Yeah! Me and the demon? We dated for months before we told anyone."

"You didn't tell anyone," Lisanna remarked as she continued to give the coffeepot her forlorn gaze. "You got caught. Like, a billion times. I mean, gosh, Laxus, the two of you hooked up at the guildhall once."

"Hey, you be quiet, alright?" Laxus sent her a look. "This is a man's conversation here, girly. Keep your nose outta it."

"Yeah, Lisanna," Elfman agreed, pumped again. He was just as easy to fool as his older sister. If Laxus said that Ever was worthy of his time, then he'd believe it. Because they were practical brothers. "You keep out of this."

It was almost too easy. Almost.

Lisanna, however, wasn't nearly as gullible as the other two Strauss siblings. As shocking as it was, considering she was stupid enough to be friends with the Salamander, Lisanna had some wit to her. A lot actually.

And it made it impossible for him to manipulate her.

No, his relationship with Lisanna, while originally obligatory to stay close to the demon, slowly become a real one.

Lisanna was funny and spunky and, in a weird way, kinda cool. Laxus liked talking to her. She didn't treat him like the others did. With most of the guild members, he was either someone to be feared, someone that was just a hard ass and overrated, or, in the Salamander's case, someone harass for fights constantly.

But Lisanna didn't seem him as any of those. In fact, she saw him for what he truly was; someone that was _really_ easy to get to. So she did that. A lot. Bothered him. With the most trivial of things. She'd insist on sitting with him at the guildhall, would follow him out training at times, and, worst of all, once made him take her out on a job with him and the Thunder Legion.

If Elfboy was practically his brother, Lisanna was definitely his baby sister. He took her everywhere with him. Even shopping before when Mira canceled on her and she complained to him about not having anyone to hangout with.

"I was gonna go to the market to buy-"

"Clothes?"

"…No."

"But now you are, right?"

"I have clothes. I'm wearing clothes. Why would I-"

"Just come on, Laxus. And ooh, invite Freed and Bickslow, okay?"

"But why-"

"Come on." And then she'd grab his hand and just drag him around. She did that a lot too. "Laxus."

It was weird, but…he kinda liked it.

And the demon loved it.

"You're just such a good friend for Lisanna to have."

"Why's that?" he grumbled when Mira told him that one day. "Demon?"

"Well, you know," she said with a shrug. "You're strong. And protective. So-"

"So what? Lisanna can look out for herself." He snorted. "That's why she likes me so much. You and Elfman, you try and put all these…restrictions on her. Well, she don't need them. She can fend for herself."

That was true. About both things. Not only was she a very capable mage, she appreciated Laxus for seeing that.

"Training with Mirajane and Elf is fun," she told him once. "But I like you and your friends better. You're all serious and stuff."

And stuff. That was Laxus. Serious ol' Laxus. And stuff.

"You seem to be making nicer with the younger Strauss than you are the older," Freed observed once as they relaxed in the bathhouse, alone for once, after a training session. Well, Bickslow was there, but he, for once, wasn't saying much. "Laxus."

"What are you talking about?"

"I just see you more with Lisanna than Mirajane. That is all."

"So?"

"I think he's implyin' that you got somethin' for her, boss," Bickslow explained from the other end of the large tub where he was soaking.

"If someone wishes for you to speak, Bickslow, you will be spoken to," Freed retorted, due more to the glare that Laxus was giving him then than anything else.

"No respect. None at all."

"Let's get something straight, Freed," Laxus grumbled when he caught on to the man's words. "Lisanna's just…a kid to me. Mira's sister. Her baby sister. So yeah, I'm trying to get in good with her. And I have. So what? Huh? That's just 'cause I like screwing the demon and it's more or less required. Got a problem with it? No? Good. Then shut the hell up."

He'd hit a nerve in the man that the slayer himself hadn't known was there. He wasn't…attracted to Lisanna. Not really. Or at all. And he was nearly certain that she wasn't to him either. They were just becoming really good friends. That was all.

Or he thought that was all until one day, Lisanna came to him with something, that at first, made him think that dark nightmare was coming true.

"Hey, Laxus?"

"What?" He was napping in Mira's bed as he awaited the demon to finish dinner and, honestly, he wasn't up for being disturbed. But Lisanna was just coming into the bedroom like it was nothing, so he had no choice, but to speak to her.

"I wanna talk to you about something," she said as she shut the door behind her. "And you can't tell Mirajane, okay?"

"Mmmm." Slowly, he rolled onto his side to stare at her. "Tell me before I make any promises."

"It's about…us, I guess. You know, how I've been hanging out with you so much recently?"

"Yeah," he said as, cautiously, he moved to push up instead of just laying there. "What about it?"

She laughed then, almost nervously, before looking off. "It's about… I don't like training with you guys. And Ever's annoying. And Freed can get kinda mean sometimes."

"So? What? You don't want to-"

"I only like hanging around with you guys for one thing."

He blinked. Then he frowned. "Oh?"

Nodding slightly, she swallowed before saying, "I know it's weird and that, like, being into an older guy is… I'm just telling you because, I mean, I feel so silly about it, but I can't help it. The more I pretend like I don't feel this way, the more I do. And the more time I spend with you guys, the more I… Laxus, I think I like-"

"I have to go." Quickly, Laxus jumped up. "I have to-"

"Hey, I was just- Laxus! Look, just don't…tell anyone, okay? This is between us, right? Laxus!"

He rushed straight to Mira, telling her that he just remembered something, something important, and he couldn't stay for dinner. She was skeptical, but let him go. Not that there wasn't any other option, really, as he was intent on getting the heck outta there. He avoided Lisanna too, for over a week. He'd only see Mira if she came to his apartment and he didn't step a foot in the guildhall. How could he? Lisanna…she…

It made him feel sick. And kinda oogy. He thought that he and Lisanna had a sibling relationship. He was really happy with it too. He enjoyed it. And now things were all mixed up and confusing. How could he be with Mirajane if her baby sister was…lusting after him?

Not that it should be too shocking. Laxus was, after all, himself. And, well, the way he felt, most women should want him. And he was happy that they did. Kept the demon on his toes.

But Lisanna falling for him would very easily fall into him being cut off at the knees. She'd choose the other woman over him, of course, and, well, he just couldn't deal with that.

"What are you doing here?"

Lisanna, however, apparently hadn't been keyed in on that fact. Either that or she just didn't care.

"I had to come see you, Laxus," she said when he answered his door to find her being the one knocking on it. "I mean, what's up? You're acting like I did something wrong."

"You did do something wrong," he hissed as he refused to let her in. "Something very, very wrong."

"How? We're both adults. We-"

"I am in love with your sister, Lisanna. I-"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

He couldn't help it then. He just pointed a finger at her, shaking his head slightly.

"You fool everyone, don't you?"

"What are you-"

"That innocent act, the childlike behavior. But you would stab Mirajane, the woman who would lay down her damn life for you, in the back just like that? Well, I won't! I-"

"What does liking Bickslow have to do with Mirajane?"

He blinked. "Err…what?"

She had her arms crossed then, staring at him with worried eyes. "I mean, I just don't want her to know because she'll tell him, but- What are you doing?"

He put a hand to his head before turning to walk off, over to the couch. "You like Bickslow. My Bickslow."

"He's not _yours_ , but sorta. I dunno. I just-"

"Bickslow. You're in love with Bickslow."

"I'm not in love with him! I- And hey, if this is the first you're realizing that, then why have you been avoiding me all week? I mean-"

"You like…dorky Bickslow over me?"

"Why would I ever like you? And he's not a dork, he just doesn't get enough respect."

Ugh. Laxus felt even sicker then.

"Wait." Lisanna was coming into the apartment then, shutting the door behind her. "Laxus, you didn't think that I-"

"You said not to tell Mirajane and then went on and on about how annoying the Thunder Legion was-"

"How annoying Evergreen and Freed are. Sometimes. Bickslow's never annoying. He's just misunderstood."

He rubbed his palms into his eyes. "Then you're not in love with me?"

"Ew, gross!"

"What do you mean gross?" he growled, turning his head up then to look at her. She was just staring at him then.

"Is that what you thought? That I… Oh, Laxus." Then the giggling started. "You thought I liked you?"

"Shut up, Lisanna."

"I don't even know why Mira likes you!"

"I said to shut up."

"I mean-"

"What part of shutting up don't you get? Huh?"

She couldn't help it though as she moved to fall onto the couch with him, still doubled over with giggles. "You're so silly, Laxus. What? Did you think that even if I was interested in you, I would just come out with it? Mira is, like, so devoted to you. What kinda sister would I be then?"

"That's what I was tryin' to figure out."

"What were you going to do?"

"I hadn't figured it out yet." Then, still suspicious of her, he glanced at the younger woman. "So you're really interested in Bickslow, huh?"

That made her sober rather quickly. "Well, yeah, I am."

Grunt. "Then that's the only reason you hangout with us? To get closer to him?"

"No. I mean, I didn't go into all of this liking him. No more than usual. It was while I was hanging out with you that-"

"So basically you're using me to get to Bickslow. Who you'd rather be with than me."

"I'm confused. Are you…jealous? Laxus-"

"Not like that." And he wasn't. Even though he still coming down off the relief of Lisanna not crushing on him, he was still bothered by that fact that while he'd been reading so much into their friendship, even going as far as to consider her family, that she was just using him to get at his seith.

"Then like what?"

He wouldn't say though. Just sat there, all stony and silent. With a sigh, Lisanna moved to pat him on the arm.

"I wasn't using you. You know that."

"Why do I know that?"

"Because," she said then, still just staring at him. "Bickslow isn't always there when we hangout. When just sit around the house and talk or whatever. And I've felt…weird this past week, knowing that you were mad at me. Even more so now that I know you thought I was, like, in love with you-"

"It seemed like you were coming on to me."

"Are you that conceited that you think that everyone woman wants you?"

"Not every woman," he grumbled. "Some don't like men. Can't hold that against them."

Giggling, she said then, "I don't know why I like Bickslow, Laxus. I mean, he's funny and he listens to me and he likes to hang out and-"

"Say no more."

"Really?"

With a nod, Laxus said, "You could like freaking Macao for all I care. Anything's better than the damn Salamander."

She gave him a look before saying, "You won't tell him then?"

"Of course not. If you don't want me to, I mean."

"I don't."

"Then I won't." Reaching over, he tapped her on the head. "Who are you supposed to share your secrets with other than your friends?"

Or your brothers?

With Lisanna back under his wing and Elfman still flapping along, all keyed in on Evergreen, Laxus felt right in the world again. Even better too, a few weeks later when Lisanna came out training with him again. Before she showed up, he'd griped to the others that she was weaker than them, fine, but if he heard a damn one of them ribbing her for it, he'd flay them alive.

And he would.

Which meant that the next person on the totem pole got the brunt of disapproval that day.

And Bickslow was not happy about it.

"Oy," he complained after Freed chewed him out about how lax he'd become with his personal training and spending too much time on learning new tricks for the babies. "He's as hard as the real boss."

"You don't get any respect from them and it's not fair."

Bickslow only glanced over at Lisanna, who was sitting next to him. They were technically on a water break, but the others were already getting back down to sparring.

Holding out the water bottle in his hand, Bickslow let her take a sip from it, as she'd already drunk all of hers.

"It's true," he agreed. "I'm not stupid."

"I know you're not."

"I'm just as strong as any of 'em!"

"You are."

With a grin, he showed off his guild mark to her, tongue falling from his mouth. Then he said, "I like you, kid. You get me."

"Like you, kid," his dolls sang as they circled around. "You get me."

Blushing, Lisanna looked off, happening to catch Laxus' gaze. It wasn't hard. Instead of observing Freed and Evergreen, he was looking right at her. At the sight of her gaze, he gave her a thumbs up and a slight smile.

She mouthed something back about how he was embarrassing her, but he didn't care. He was just happy that she was happy.

And after the practice, when they were all heading home or to the guild to bathe and recuperate, Laxus found himself walking next to Bickslow.

"So," he prompted the seith softly. "Saw you talking to Lisanna."

"Hmmm? Yeah, I guess I did. A few times."

"She's pretty nice, huh?"

"Oy, boss, I don't wanna be abrasive here-"

"No, no, go ahead."

"-but it'd be mighty unfair of you to be fucking both Strauss sisters. Try and contain yourself. Sheesh. And then to rub it in my face like this, why, I-"

He couldn't help himself. He just reached out to wrap his hand around the other man's throat.

"Boss! What are you-"

"Laxus, leave him alone," Ever called when she glanced back at the sound of the seith's call. 'What did he even do?"

Lisanna though, who was way ahead, knew immediately at the sight what he was doing and, in her own mind, his reasoning.

"Laxus! You said you were okay with-"

"I know that he is quite bothersome," Freed interrupted, rushing back over, "but killing him is not the answer. Perhaps maiming him, but-"

"Freed," Ever hissed, shooting him a look as well.

Laxus just growled before tossing Bickslow from him. The second he had, Freed and Evergreen descended on their idol, to get the scoop, as Lisanna just rushed over to the seith's side.

"Are you hurt?"

"No," he sighed as the babies sang their fears along with her. The woman even got down on her knees next to him, just to check on him. "My neck don't feel great now. I told you, I get no-"

"Respect. I know." She glanced back towards Laxus, but Freed and Ever were ushering him off, out of the forest they'd been training in, no doubt to put some distance between him and the other guy. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Takes more than the boss throwing a fit to take down me."

"What did you say that got him all bothered?"

"Uh…it was more him sayin' stuff to me and me just going with it that got me in trouble, if you wanna know that truth." Then, because it was just so hard to lie when you had those deep blue eyes looking at you (and after having a near death experience where the guy you loved more than yourself tried to choke you to freaking death), that he added, "And it was kinda about you."

Blushing deeply then, Lisanna looked away from him. "About me?"

"Yeah," he admitted. "But I think we'll be able to get pass it, the boss and me."

"I'd hope so."

It took Laxus awhile to calm down and, even then, it was because Lisanna had to go rat to her sister that he went berserk on the way home and tried to choke out one of his followers.

"Dragon," she scolded when she saw him. "What did we say we would do when you got angry?"

"Demon, we are in the guild. This is-"

"What did we say?"

"Mirajane-"

"Dragon-"

"That I would take a deep breath and count to ten."

"Did you count to ten?"

"Do you know what he said?"

"Did I ask that?"

"No," he sighed. "To both questions."

"Bad dragon." He even got a finger wag. The horror. "We gotta control our temper now, alright? Bickslow is a friend. Not a foe. You know that."

He wondered what she would think if she'd heard him out there in the woods.

"Now go apologize to Bickslow," she said, shoving him away from the bar.

"No."

"Yes, dragon. Now. I mean it. I will check with him later to be sure you did. Or do I have to march you over there?"

"No," he grumbled before heading off. Damn demon.

When he got over to Bickslow, the guy was seated at a table and, honestly, seemed glad to have it between the two of them. He was joined by Lisanna and Freed, both looking like they were prepared to defend the seith to the death.

"Bickslow," Laxus got out, staring at the guy, knowing he had his attention even through his visor. "I'm sorry that I choked you."

"And I'm sorry that I said…that."

"Good. Don't ever fucking say it again."

As he was walking away though, he'd be lying to say that he wasn't a little happy again for Lisanna when Freed jumped up to follow him, leaving her alone with the seith. Not that Laxus hadn't rethought his position on Lisanna's little crush, given what Bickslow said to him, but…he said some pretty iffy things too. Things that could make people think he was no good for the demon.

Swear though, he really would choke him to death next time he said anything close to that.

And when he saw Evergreen, sitting alone with Elfman, speaking softly with him, he felt pretty good too. That was the point of being a big brother, right? To make sure that all your siblings were happy and content? And sure, maybe Elfman's happiness wasn't his intention and, really, he hadn't done much for Lisanna, but it didn't take away how nice it was to see them happy.

Ugh. The demon must have been drugging him or something.

"I think Lisanna has a crush on Freed," Mirajane told Laxus one night as they laid around in bed.

"Mmmm."

"She's always hanging around you guys and, well, she went over to his apartment tonight. To hang out. You know what that means."

"Bickslow lives there too."

"Yeah, but, dragon, be serious," Mira giggled. "Who would ever like him?"

He just shook his head though. "You and your sister are so much alike, but so different, you know that?"

"What do you mean?"

Again, all he could do was shake his head. It wouldn't make sense to her.

"What time did your sister get home then?" Laxus went on. "Did you ask her about the date?"

Mirajane frowned then. "I didn't think about that."

"Didn't think about what? Asking her?"

She just shifted to sit up. "Making sure she got home."

"What? She's still over there then? With…with Bickslow?"

"Well, Freed, but-"

"He's grown! And they're not even dating, really. Just hanging out? She's going to sleep with him just after hanging out? If Bickslow thought that I was going to kill him before, he's gonna get it this time," he growled, shoving out of the bed. "Sleep with my sister without asking me first."

"Well, for one, she's with Freed. I already told you that."

"Mira, if she's with Freed, then we have nothing to worry about."

"What do you mean?"

He just continued getting dressed and, with a sigh, Mira went on.

"And you're not killing anyone."

"The hell I'm not."

"Lastly," she said, "she's not your sister."

"If Bickslow's messing with her, then she definitely is."

"Aw."

"I'll be back, demon, with your sister. And the blood of Bickslow on my-"

"Laxus, I'm a master at romance. Bickslow and Lisanna? That doesn't even make sense."

"You're right, demon. And that's why I'm gonna go make sure it doesn't happen."

Shaking her head, she just moved to lay back down. Bickslow and Lisanna. Psst.

And oh if Freed wasn't happy to see Laxus appear on his doorstep in the middle of the night. No, seriously, he wasn't. Because he hadn't come to see him.

"You can't do this, Laxus! Leave us alone!"

"Oy, boss. We weren't doin- And he's tryin' to choke me. Take her!"

"Bickslow!"

"Sorry, kid, but my neck versus you? Easy choice."

Because while Lisanna was marveling at the world of having a cool older brother (she already had the loser one), she'd forgot the downside.

Like being dragged back home against your will for having the audacity to be an adult and make your own decisions.

Asinine.

"I hate you," she hissed at him as they headed back to the house. "So much."

"Good."

"You said that you wouldn't be like Mirajane and Elfman! That you wouldn't baby me."

"I'm not babying you."

"You are babying me."

"I'm helping you learn an important lesson. You don't hook up on the first date," he grumbled. "You just don't. Especially not with someone like Bickslow. Ooh, if I didn't have more self restraint, I'dda choked him again!"

"You're a horrible person."

"Yeah, kid," he growled, dragging her right along. "I know."

Never before had Laxus had a united front with Elfman, but damn, when the other guy caught wind of what had happened, he was on the slayer's side.

"You can't…do things like that, Lisanna," he complained the next morning at breakfast. "Only men can!"

"I don't agree with the end of that," Laxus said slowly, "but he's right. Hooking up with a guy on the first date-"

"How many times do I have to say that I wasn't? We were just talking."

"Everyone just talks," Laxus complained as the demon came to join them after getting herself some coffee. "Then, bam! They're fucking."

"Language," Mira sighed. "And Laxus, we slept together on our first date. It wasn't even a date. We just-"

"Ew, really?" Lisanna glanced between the man in her sister. "You never told me that."

"And never wanted to hear about it," Elfman growled. "At all."

"We're different," Laxus told Mirajane. "We're in love and are going to stay together forever."

"Aw."

"No," Lisanna complained. "You're just a hypocrite and won't admit it."

"So what if I am? Elfman and I say you can't do it, so you can't."

"I'm still a little confused," Mira admitted. "Are you sure it was Bickslow? And not Freed?"

"Yes, Mira," her sister answered with an eye roll. "I'm sure."

Elfman just shook his head. "I don't get it."

"And no one gets you and Ever either, but we don't try to put a stop to it, do we?" Lisanna complained, hunching over in her chair.

"Actually," Laxus started. "I tried to ruin that too."

"Of course you did," the youngest Strauss said with a glare. "Because you're a horrible person and none of us like you. Except Mirajane, but she likes everyone."

"Well…yeah, I do," she agreed. "But everyone's so great! Especially you, dragon."

"No, he's not."

"And what does she mean about trying to ruin me and Ever? You said that you were just being helpful, Laxus, and were confused."

Growling then, he jumped up from the table. "You two are so ungrateful! All I try to do is be a good brother and what do you do? Turn the tables on me. Fine. Elfman, Ever sucks for you, but you know what? Date her. Marry her. I don't care. And Lisanna? Have so much sex it makes you sick. This is why I don't make friends with idiots like you. Try and use me to get to Bickslow and Ever and then act like I'm the bad guy. Bah! _Bah!"_

After he stormed off, Mirajane gave both her siblings a look.

"He loves you and you just hurt his feelings."

"Only real men love each other."

"He doesn't love me. He's a big jerk who's trying to ruin my life."

They got a stronger look.

"I said that you just hurt his feelings. Do you know how hard it is for the dragon to even admit that he has those? And there he went, putting them on the line for the two of you and you stomped all over them. Do you feel good about that?"

"Men have no regrets!"

"I would feel better if he hadn't embarrassed me in front of Bickslow. Again."

"You both know what I'm saying," Mirajane said. "Go apologize."

"Real men don't apologize."

"Not until he apologizes to me."

"Elfman," his older sister sighed. "Real men are in touch with their feelings and able to admit their wrongs. Meaning that yes, they apologize."

He paused. "I guess that makes sense."

"And Lisanna, we all know that you were really over there seeing Freed and using Bickslow for a cover-"

"What world do you live in?"

"It doesn't matter which guy it was."

"Uh, it does to me. It was Bickslow."

"Don't sound so proud," Elfman whispered. "He's not prize."

"Oh, and Ever is?"

"Ever is an angel!"

"The point I'm making is that Laxus is just trying to protect you," Mirajane told her. "And sure, he has a horrible way of showing it. He has a horrible way of showing all of his emotions. He's no good with them. That's why he has me."

"Is that why?"

"Well, one of the reasons."

Her sister just rolled her eyes. "He can't tell me what to do. He's not-"

"You know that he really can't keep you from…doing whatever you were doing with Freed."

"Bickslow."

"Are you su-"

"Mirajane."

"Just go tell Laxus that you're sorry for being so mean to him. He's really sensitive."

"He is not."

"Yes, he is."

"He's a big jerk that-"

"That took you on jobs with him when you asked, lets you in on private training sessions, and lets the two of you borrow anything of his you want. So what? He embarrassed you in front of a guy that plays with dolls? And has his guild mark on his tongue? Seriously?"

"He gets no respect," Lisanna mumbled. "None."

"And what, Elf? He did something with you and Evergreen? Or-"

"He told me to not date her because she was embarrassed by me, but then told me that was wrong, he was just busy stealing one of your Sorcerer magazines and got-"

"He what? Laxus! Don't take my things!"

"I," he called from somewhere else in the house, "am trying to go back to sleep! Leave me alone. You Strauss siblings with your ability to just agree on things. What am I then? Huh? The odd man out? Fine. Fine! You're just jealous. All of you."

"Of what?" Lisanna called to him.

"Of what? Seriously? Of me! I am the greatest fucking wizard to ever set foot on this planet. Or any planet!"

"I'm still not see what exactly you're drawn to, Mira," her sister whispered. The woman only sighed before getting to her feet.

If they wouldn't go make it right, it was up to her to. After all, she was the older sister.

"Dragon," she called as she came into her bedroom. "Are you okay?"

"No. I hate them."

"Oh, Laxus."

"I keep one from sleeping with a stupid loser and I try to help the other from being used, but what do I get in return? Huh? Nothing."

"Welcome to the life of an older sibling."

"I try and they give me no credit. I do one thing they don't like and bam! I'm the enemy."

"It happens."

"Why should I even care then?" Rolling onto his back, he stared up at her as she just sat on the edge of the bed, staring down at him with a slight smile. "For you?"

"I never asked you to hang out with Lisanna. And I surely never told you to give Elfman dating advice." Reaching out, she tapped his nose gently with her finger. "You did this all because you care about them. Admit it."

"Nothin' to admit." He closed his eyes. "'cause I sure as hell don't now. I- Who's at the door? Is it for me?"

"This isn't your house," he heard Lisanna call as she no doubt rushed to answer it. "Why would it be for you?"

"Shut up! Talk to me like I'm stupid."

"Be nice, dragon," Mira chided.

Ugh.

He sprang up though when he heard the sound of the guild's resident seith talking. Oh, so he thought he could just show up then? Huh?

Ever's voice came next.

Laxus wasn't too mad at her, but hell, why not just be angry at all of them?

Freed's was a bit much.

"What," he growled as he left the complaining Mirajane behind, "is going on?"

"Oy, boss," Bickslow greeted from the front porch, Lisanna just standing in the doorway, staring out at the three of them. "I came to apologize, yeah? Real man to man stuff."

"Did someone mention men?"

"And that's why I came," Ever said, slipping passed Lisanna to go find out where Elfman's inquisitive tone was coming from. "Oh, and Lisanna? Gross."

"What?"

"Bickslow? I mean, really?"

"Uh, I can hear you," the seith complained. "And, more importantly, you screw Elfman, so-"

"Why," Laxus growled, "are you idiots here?"

"I came to check on you," Freed said quickly. "You were most upset last night."

"And I came to make peace," Bickslow said. "I rather like my neck not being smooshed."

"Bickslow," Lisanna complained.

"Shhh. I came for you too. Just let me schmooze the boss over here and then we can-"

"If you had to tell Ever you could hear her, why are you doing the same thing to me?" Laxus growled.

"Oh, Freed and Bickslow are here." So was Mira then as she came out of the hallway. "Is it to fight over Lisanna?"

"W-What?" Freed frowned. "Why would we- Hey! Bickslow!"

He just shoved him to the ground. "I win. Come on, Lissy. Let's get breakfast. See, boss? I know how to date."

"I never said you didn't. I just said that you weren't going to screw my little sister without doing it!"

"I'm not your sister, Laxus."

"And I'm doing it now. So after breakfast-"

"Damn it, Bickslow, I can kill you, you know."

"Yeah, I know. Come on, Lisanna. Let's-"

"If we're fighting over her, then when I win, I will hand her over to Laxus." Freed wasn't giving up so easily, apparently.

"And why," Mira complained, glancing at her boyfriend, "would you do that?"

"What are you looking at me for?" Laxus complained. "And why does everyone think I want Lisanna? I don't even like her right now."

"Good. I don't like you either," she said, glaring over at him as well as Bickslow had some of his babies shoot at Freed. "You jerk."

"I'm not a jerk."

"You are a jerk. You-"

"I'm sorry that I love you, Lisanna, okay? I'm sorry that I don't want you screwing around with guys who are just going to use you. I'm sorry that I'm so horrible for trying to keep you safe. I'm sorry."

"Ew. Gross. You love me?"

More growling. Then, "Not anymore! You stupid-"

"I love you too, Laxus."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Just…go on your damn date with him. And stop bothering me so much. And Freed, don't hurt him. I don't want her."

"Better not," Mirajane mumbled. Huh. The demon could get jealous. Who knew? "Dragon."

"I don't!"

"Did someone say breakfast?" Elfman popped out of the kitchen then, Ever in tow. "Breakfast is for men!"

"You ate breakfast, dope," Laxus complained. "Mira made us all eggs."

"I can always eat more."

Well, maybe he and Elfman did agree on other things because Laxus could definitely put some back.

"Uh, no," Bickslow said as he dusted himself off while Freed sheathed the sword he'd drawn. "This is me and Lisanna's date. Our first real date. And we-"

"Even better. I heard what you tried to do with my sister last night and-"

"What? Talk to her?"

Evergreen shook her head. "Sure. It's always talking and then it's screwing."

"See?" Laxus pointed at Evergreen. "I did not make that up. Everyone knows that."

"If we are to make breakfast, we should hurry," Freed said simply. Bickslow gave him a look.

"None of you are invited!"

"I'm going," Elfman insisted as he headed off to go get his shoes. "Wait for me, Lisanna."

"No way. Come on, Bickslow."

"I said to wait!"

Still, Laxus and Mirajane hung back, letting all of the others take off after one another, making as if they were going to. But no, they weren't. The whole house to themselves? And she didn't have to work until the afternoon? It was an obvious choice.

"Being a brother is hard."

"Poor Laxus," she agreed as they laid down in her bed once more. "You know, I think it's cute that you love Lisanna."

"Shuddup."

"And I don't know if you noticed, but Ever and Elfman were going out to breakfast too. Like it was no big deal. In town. Where anyone could see them. You did that."

"I didn't mean to."

"But you did. You made Evergreen think she was losing Elf and that made her realize she couldn't. And you're the reason that Freed and Lisanna spend so much time together, ending in love."

"Mira, for the last time, Freed and Lisanna are not-"

"I refuse to believe it."

Sigh. "Demon."

"I refuse."

Snuggling her up close to him, he said, "I'm sure by next week, when Lisanna and Bickslow are both over each other, you'll be completely into the idea of them and force them to stay together."

"Well I hate to see failed relationships."

Mmmm. And he hated to waste his alone time with the demon on anything other than the two of them.

But he couldn't help it. Lisanna and Elfman had gotten to him. Even if it was mandatory and even if it had been all pretend in the beginning, Laxus did care about the oaf and the kid. They were his…something. And they meant a lot to his followers too.

Maybe he wasn't ready to be a big brother. And he definitely didn't want to be. But when duty calls, well, what choice did he have, but to answer?

"Oh, and Lax?"

"Hmmm?"

"Stop stealing my magazines."

"Yeah, yeah."

* * *

 **This got out of hand…massively, but I didn't know how to end it. Big brother Laxus is the best Laxus though.**


End file.
